Friday, March 25, 2016
Well, Whackadoodle-doo, y'all! I did it. I finally quit the stinking job that was making me doubt my own awesomeness. Hell, it made me doubt there was any awesomeness left in the whole wide world. When I tell you it was soul-sucking, I am talking on a Dyson level.
I liked the process of what I did (mostly). I liked the actual place; and I made some really, truly, super-awesome great friends. Those are the things that kept me there far longer than was good for my mental, emotional, and physical health. I am sad to be leaving them. I know my friends will always be my friends and I can go and visit the place any time I want, without becoming entangled in the crap that finally flipped my switch.
I may have mentioned the...well.....not sure exactly what to call this manager. We have lots of nicknames for her, but they would only be relevant if you had the great misfortune of knowing her personally. Can you picture a dark, swirling, ANGRY vortex of crushing negative energy? Now, cram that inside a short, squat, human body; really stuff it down in there nice and tight so it is trying to explode constantly. (Kinda like the Tasmanian Devil on that cartoon. Seriously, some days there was actual snarling.) Now you got a pretty good idea of what I'm talking about. I wish I was kidding y'all.
Seven and a half years I dealt with this narcissistic, belittling, bullying, micromanaging mess. Can I just tell ya, I am SO grateful I found a way out. Want to throw a lifeline to my BFFL; hope she finds a way out soon!
I just wanted to tell y'all the good news. Not sure where the road is heading from here, but I am glad to say that within a week, I'll be looking at that sh*t in the rearview. Hopefully, now I will have time to talk to y'all again. Till next time, Whackadoodle-doo, y'all!
Wednesday, December 23, 2015
So, Christmas, right? The struggle is real, yo. Not only have the cats pulled ornaments off the tree, they've torn open wrapping paper and destroyed bows. Ok, so no bows and double-wrap ALL the presents. Crap.
Also, my dad's daytime caregiver picked the 12 days of Christmas to go off the rails; or at least, this is when the truth came to light. Lying about her mileage, leaving during her shift to run a personal errand, during which time he fell, taking him with her on another personal errand, and being an hour late without letting me know. So, she's getting fired for Christmas.
Then, my 12-year-old son decided he is not coming home for Christmas due to his father's Jehovah's Witness cult bullshit. I totally lost my shit for a minute or ten - with his dad, not him. I understand he is torn. At first, I thought, "well, this ruins Christmas". But guess what? I get to spend it with my daughter - just the two of us like before my son was born. Well, the three of us, since my Dad lives here, too. :)
Oh, yeah, and Dad; well, only one of his other children has made plans to see him for Christmas. Seriously? Merry freaking Noel. So, Happy Holidays, Dad, and thanks for always supporting us, but eff you, we're too busy having fun to show you any love and respect. About what I expected, but still disappointing, to say the least. This will be his first Christmas as a widow, too.
So, Christmas, right? The struggle is too real.
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
Ever get a truly nasty communication from someone you condsidered (and who claimed to be) your best friend? I mean, an email that started off with, "First of all, Fuck you." Followed by pages and pages of putrid verbal vilification,
Obviously, this kind of attack is nothing less than incendiary and solves absolutely nothing. However, I consider it a gift from the Universe. Totally. Because no matter how angry I am at a friend, I would never say the big FU to them unless I was ready for that relationship to be O.V.E.R. Not saying I have never been guilty of letting my anger direct a communication. But I rarely go for the jugular and sling all kinds of character assassinations at people.
In this particular instance, a true friend told me that this person seems to be speaking from a perspective of guilt and is projecting a bunch of their own psychoses onto me. Whatever. Guess what? I do not have to allow it.
Still wading through the Whackadoodles, y'all.
Monday, June 15, 2015
Sure you do. Who wouldn't? But, what if you had THIS instead:
Imagine taking your dad to the drugstore because he wants sex lube.
That is all.
Sunday, May 31, 2015
So, tomorrow, my daughter graduates from high school. Everyone asks me if I will cry...HELLZ, YEAH, tears of JOY and RELIEF, cause I never thought we'd make it! My daughter is very smart, but she doesn't give a rat's fat hairy ass what anyone else thinks of her (GOOD FOR HER!), including people who want to grade her on something. I understand this because I was outraged in junior high that you could actually fail art class. I was infuriated when my teacher gave me a less-than-satisfactory grade on something I created. And, I kind of had the same melt-down in Lit class when a teacher said someone's interpretation of a poem we were studying was incorrect. HELLO, people, art is subjective. All art. Including music, thank you very much to my
I have done my best to foster her sense of individuality; I don't want her to be like the majority of society. That said, I have also tried to impress upon her the importance of following some of the rules. You know, the ones that will only cause you incredible difficulty if you don't obey them. Legal things aside, I mean how to appear to conform without actually conforming. Unfortunately, I think DNA from her father negates her ability to understand. One of my greatest heartaches.
I know I have to let her follow her own path. Watching it all unfold is the heartache. My friend Sadie said it best when she called this Mommyaches. Here's a link to her story:
Monday, May 25, 2015
So, today, on a
He asked if I was cleaning out cabinets and I said, "Yes, am I bothering you?" He said, "It's a lot of noise." Now, that was my perfect opportunity to remind him that he has a tv and a recliner in his room. But, I followed my "raising" and stuffed those emotions right back down where they belong. And promptly put my earbuds back in, turned up my music, and started intentionally making a lot more noise. Childish, I know, but it FELT GOOD. :)
My creative outlet has been cooking for a very long time, but there IS no time for that now. So, I have adopted the "store-bought" approach to nearly everything. I feel a twinge that I am not giving my loved ones the best possible nutrition. But at this point, it is their health versus my sanity. Sanity wins. In a very big way.
Gotta run. Lots more noise to make.
Sunday, May 24, 2015
So, family drama. It's the best, ain't it? Family will be the first to fuck you over, emotionally, in my experience. The Mother Demon raised a totally dysfunctional family; only two of us seem to have learned what love really means. Good for us.
The other two: full of empty promises and non-communication. That's fine. Just stop lying about caring about each other. And pretending we all love each other. If you don't return a text, email, Facebook message, or voice mail, the fact of the matter is, you just don't fucking care. "I'm so busy" is just an excuse. People make time for what is important to them.
So, when I call you out on your fake, empty crap, you turn on me?? I'm the bad guy? So, you're not going to speak to me any more? THANK GOD, FINALLY, I HAVE A CONCRETE ANSWER ON YOUR POSITION. Which I have known all along, anyway. Just wanted you to state it for the record.
See, y'all, I have been studying Whackadoodles my whole entire life, and it started with my family.