Family Matters

So, family drama.  It's the best, ain't it?  Family will be the first to fuck you over, emotionally, in my experience.  The Mother Demon raised a totally dysfunctional family; only two of us seem to have learned what love really means.  Good for us.

The other two: full of empty promises and non-communication.  That's fine.  Just stop lying about caring about each other.  And pretending we all love each other.  If you don't return a text, email, Facebook message, or voice mail, the fact of the matter is, you just don't fucking care.  "I'm so busy" is just an excuse.  People make time for what is important to them.

So, when I call you out on your fake, empty crap, you turn on me??  I'm the bad guy?  So, you're not going to speak to me any more?  THANK GOD, FINALLY, I HAVE A CONCRETE ANSWER ON YOUR POSITION.  Which I have known all along, anyway.  Just wanted you to state it for the record.

See, y'all, I have been studying Whackadoodles my whole entire life, and it started with my family.

Whackadoodle-doo, y'all!

&8~)

Real Life

Boy, oh boy, if I could figure this out, I'd make a bajillion dollars. There are SO MANY PEOPLE on my list of  BLOCK YOU FOR REALZ.

Of course, ex-husbands top the list.  Cause no matter how much time has passed, it seems like at least once a week something happens that reminds me I want to punch each of them right smack dab in the kisser.  Even if it broke my hand.  >:p

Next, bad bosses.  I don't have any grudges against past bad bosses, cause they are history.  Current bad boss:  OH YEAH.  Super duper BLOCK YOU FOR REALZ.

Here's part of the rest of my list:
     Narcissists
     Sociopaths
     Liars
     Manipulators
     The Entitled
     Drama Queens/Kings
     Pissants
     Slackers
     Whiners
     Cry-babies
     Catfuckers (click this link to find out more)
     Douchebags
     Mondays

I am sure I can add more.

Who's on YOUR list?

Whackadoodle-doo, y'all!

&8~)
   

Flashbacks

I thought boyfriends/ex-husbands were whackadoodles. They got nothing on your live-in aging parent.  Having my dad around all the time is causing some serious flashbacks to the glory days of EH1 and EH2 (ExHusband 1 & 2).

The phrase, "get it your damned self" keeps running through my brain.  And also "a little please and thank you never hurt anybody."  Is my Pops just old-school misogynistic, or is it the Parkinson's?  I think a little of both.  If I ask (TELL) him to do something, he is happy to do it.  It just rarely occurs to him to take the initiative on ANY thing, except chasing the big P (WOMEN).

Now, I do consider myself a great caretaker.  I have been taking care of other folks since I can remember. And it brings me a certain amount of joy to do all those little things.  Except that those little things are always taken for granted and then expected.  And then you get resentful.  And the sneaky hate spiral (click that link for some more fun) begins.  Which usually ends with me drinking some vodka and crying myself to sleep.

Trying to see this as a blessing.  If I didn't have y'all to talk to, I don't know what I'd do!

Whackadoodle-doo to the max, y'all!

&8~)

Mother's Day Can Eat My Shorts

Yep, I said it.  Mother's Day can eat my shorts.  Not one person in this family, which now includes my elderly father, offered to do one GD thing for me today.  Not one.  The Father insisted I take him for a mani-pedi, but didn't even offer me one.  Seriously?  I do everything but wipe his ass.  Never mind that I had a bajillion chores to do (since I worked at my JOB all day on Saturday), and a few things I wanted to do for myself, since I knew NO ONE WOULD FUCKING OFFER TO DO ANYTHING FOR ME.

Of course, the day started off foul because the prior evening, as we were watching the news (kill me now), The Father commented to me about his now-deceased wife's vagina.  Straw that broke the camel's back, y'all.  Is it the Parkinson's?  Who knows.  He is quite inappropriate and apparently obsessed with his weiner and wants to share all kinds of juicy tidbits about his past with me.  Ummm, hello?  I am your DAUGHTER and a WOMAN.  Misogynistic pig.  And I am now his sole caretaker.  Joy, oh joy.

And, also, since MY mother was a fire-breathing dragon with narcissistic personality disorder, the very last thing I want to do is give her glowing reviews on Facebook.  Difficult enough to see everyone else posting about how their mother was their best friend, blah-blah-blah.  Mine was my mortal enemy until I was in my 30's and had a granddaugher-on-the-way to hold over her head and make her behave.  It was all I could muster to send her a card, which was not ooey-gooey, by any stretch of the imagination.  She is shallow and self-absorbed and now pretends to have Alzheimer's to get attention.  Sorry, lady, I am busy.

Next year, I am going away some place for the Mother's Day weekend BY MYSELF.

Whackadoodle-doo, y'all.

&8~)

The Hydra

Seriously, Whackadoodle-hydra, can you please stop now?  If you are unfamiliar, click the highlighted word "hydra"; basically, they are something like this:  

For every head you cut off, two more grow in its place.  Unstoppable.  Unbelievable.  Truly.  The dude actually called ME a hydra...not sure why....maybe it has something to do with PROJECTING. 

It has been 21 months since I invited this whackadoodle to leave my life.  And..he..still...texts.  Now, I know I could block his number (thank you Apple), but then I wouldn't be quite able to monitor the level of crazy.  I am just simply stunned.

At the fact that he still texts and the absurdity of the subject matter and that his purpose is completely beyond me.  That's right, I, Wanda, am puzzled by this Whackadoodle.  Just when I thought I had them pegged.  

One day it will be song lyrics; the next, some horrific insult (as if his opinion of me mattered in the slightest).  His most recent missive was some crap about  how he could cook an over-easy egg better than I can......even though he later said he was cooking egg whites...and why in the holy hell do I care??!  "Oh, wait, that changes EVERYTHING. I want you back"....is that what he is hoping for??  

Now, I know that I am super wonderful and all, but I don't think I really scar people.  They do that all by themselves.  It must be dreadful to be told by Heaven to leave.  ;)  

Love and light, y'all!
~Wanda
&8~)

Non Responders

Whackadoodle-doo, y'all!  I guess I could kinda accuse myself of this lately, since I haven't been posting for awhile.  But we'll get to me another time.

I am talking about those people in your life, yes, even FAMILY MEMBERS, who simply never respond to texts, voice mails, emails, FB messages, etc.  Is this not the height of rudeness to y'all?  I mean, I don't expect anyone to drop what they're doing just because they hear from me.  But a response within a few days' time is expected.  Even if it is just a "too fucking busy for you".

Here's what Miss Manners has to say about responding to electronic communications.  (click that highlighted "Miss Manners" link).

Honestly, the only people to whom I do not respond are the whackadoodles whom I have invited to leave my life.  But a friend or family member always gets a response from me.  Usually right away.  Why, good grief, if someone reaches out to me with love, with a joke, with a request for advice, I want to let them know I appreciate them thinking of me and help if I can.

The only message I can take from someone who does not respond (even to a direct plea for communication) is that they just don't give a fat rat's ass about being in my life (and gosh, it took me a long time to learn that lesson). 

So, what do you do when a situation technically requires someone else's participation and they decline to answer you?  Why, you make the damned decision yourself and tell them to go take a flying leap.  :)  

I mean, life is way too short to let someone make your face do this

>:<

Hope to talk with y'all again real soon.

Love and light~

Wanda

&8~)

The Psychopath

If I leave a trail of breadcrumbs (blood), will they follow me to the abyss????

Seriously, EH2, after 5  years, is starting his sh*t again, y'all.  EH1 is on the brink.  Dude from Hell has a funky aura about him again.  And the most-recently-banished Whackadoodle is texting me again.

This, to me, is scientific proof that they ARE, after all, attracted to my bright white light....cause I have been feeling GREAT lately.  That's always when they start.  

DAMMIT, gotta figure out how to adjust my frequency before they drive ME whackadoodle!